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By Maureen, January 2003
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The day started normally with the clatter of my children getting ready for college. I was looking forward to enjoying my last day of freedom before starting a new job. As I was loading the washing machine I felt something “snap” inside my head. I knew instinctively that something serious was wrong so I went to my neighbour’s house and she called an ambulance. The next few hours were a bit of a blur. I remember being sick into a bedpan and the doctor telling me that I was “very seriously ill” I asked him if I was going to die to which he gave a non-specific answer. At this point I gave my address book to my friend asking her to contact a few people including my mother. When I came round it was about four weeks later. I was told that I suffered a brain haemorrhage and my family including my children had been told that I probably wouldn’t last the weekend! My mother being a Catholic had prayed over me despite the fact that I was no longer a catholic I vaguely remember lots of visitors and some of them I can’t remember. One friend said a nurse told her to talk to me when I was unconscious. I assured her that I had no memory of what she had said! Neither could I remember when my whole right side couldn’t move or being fed with a spoon. Everyone was telling me that I kept pulling all the tubes in my arms out. In the end they had to put bandages around my hands to prevent me from doing this.
After about two months my consciousness returned to the extent that I was in touch with reality. I was still in a wheelchair and could not under any circumstances put my right foot on the floor. I felt that life was a living nightmare particularly because I had never been really ill before and had spent my life working in social work management and bringing up my twin daughters alone. I started to think about why this had happened to me and what the future might hold. I was transferred to two other hospitals the last of which was Hillcrest. I was still in a wheelchair. I had a brilliant physiotherapist called Ian who asked what my goal was. I told him it was to walk unaided. He spent the next four months trying to get me to take weight on my right hand side, which I continued to resist at every opportunity. Eventually I took my first steps unaided. Even though there was still a lot of work to be done I still felt a strong sense of achievement! I had a lot of freedom at Hillcrest and met lots of interesting people who were there for a variety of reasons. The staff were really good and helped me by allowing me out in the evening with my friend. This gave me a sense of purpose and helped me to feel normal again. After leaving Hillcrest I went to Moor Green where I am writing this. This is a rehabilitation unit with a varied programme including computers, art therapy, fitness and information board group and brain injury education. At this point in time I am not sure about what to do in the future despite the fact that it is now sixteen months since the original injury. The doctors have said that it should take two years for optimum recovery. So how else has my life been affected? I still can’t drive and my income has drastically reduced because as I said earlier I was due to start a new job the next day. I have lost interest in some things such as reading and Buddhism. I also tend to sleep a lot more and the house isn’t as tidy as it used to be. I also spend much more time watching television. I used to enjoy country walks yet because my mobility has been affected I can’t do this at the moment. As I don’t have any walking aids the general public don’t realise anything is wrong with me and don’t make any allowances. Despite everything changing overnight, this has given me the opportunity to re-evaluate my life and I have decided to leave the Midlands and return to the northeast to live happily ever after with my partner by the sea in Whitley Bay. Despite media stories about the lack of resources, and my own experience of the high reliance on agency staff, I think the care I have received through the health service has been excellent and I have been well looked after.
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